May 2007 Archives

Over at MSNBC, I saw a headline asking if Lindsay Lohan was served liquor on the night of her accident. Here is a shocker from a spokesperson from the California Department of Alcoholic Beverage Control (thanks to the AP for reporting the obvious):

underage drinking is a huge problem in the state of California

Well, no shit! How many times does TMZ or X17 have to film people stumbling out of clubs for them to get a clue? We all know that most government agencies are stupid, but what do they think is going down there? A bunch of people dancing on tables because they loved the club soda and Red Bull?

I love this line:

We do investigate any time we get complaints when someone underage is being served. Anyone under the age of 21 cannot be sold alcohol in California.

Cannot? I think that they can. Whether they should not be served is another story. Honestly, who is going to complain? The owner of the place who is raking in the money? The guy buying the drinks who is in hopes of attaining some underage road head on the way back to his condo? The underage person who worked so hard to get in there in the first place?

I'm not trying to sound high and mighty here about underage drinking. God knows the easy availability of alcohol is a reason many of us were so excited to get to college, but I laugh at the people acting like they are really going to be solving the problems they have with underage drinking.

That being said, I can't wait to hear what the next bureaucratic lackey is going to say when the AP starts digging around people abusing medical marijuana laws.

I went on vacation in Southern Florida this weekend. A romping good time was had by all, but there were a few things I was not proud of. First of all, I never took the time to see my sister in Miami. I tried the day before I left, but the traffic from Key West was so horrible, I was worried about missing my plane. (Little did I know my plane would be three hours late!). Anyway, Margie, I am sorry.

The girl in the picture is another story. I was taking some pictures of some people I met there, when I backed up a little bit and accidentally kicked this girl. Even though I apologized profusely, I think she didn't think I was sincere. Well, there is nothing more sincere than apologizing on your blog! I forget her name, but I am still sorry.

And if you wanted to see what I looked like that night (before my first martini), I have a picture after the jump.

As most people know, I love ANTM, but the show has become a little ridiculous in the way it picks which girls move on. It seems that every week the judges are trying to show how little we know about fashion, but the fact is that most people can tell which girl is going to be a model by taking a look at them. The way the judges explain their choices is nauseating, but I don't have time to write 20 pages on this, so I'll cut to the chase.

This year, the judges have loved Natasha. I have not. Perhaps she deserved to stick around after Dion, but I really thought they would get rid of her before Renee. When Renee was eliminated, I vowed to give up ANTM (for one season) if Natasha won. Jaslene has that jaw, but I think she deserved the win.

Some people may be saddened by the fact that they are not in a part of the country that has been graced by the presence of a Pinkberry. For my money, I am much more nervous when I get oustide driving distance of a Jamba Juice, but for some reason the Pinkberry frozen yogurt is the thing that all the kids are talking about these days. I will always contend that there is probably a cheaper, better tasting fro-yo place with a much smaller line within walking distance of any Pinkberry, so the whole phenomenon is beyond me.

It turns out that PInkberry isn't really even frozen yogurt. Some say that it isn't a big deal, and the entire hubub surrounding this thing is blow entirely out of proportion. I don't necessarily think that Pinkberry is bad, but they have marketed it in such a way so insecure people who can't think for themselves have yet another brand to fall back if they ever start fearing that they might be tricked into having an original thought at some point. ( And I say this as a card-carrying Gap whore.) I know not all of the people who go to Pinkberry are like that, but there are enough of them to taint the rest of the crowd. So when people say that I shouldn't get so worked up about it, I say I love knowing that this company has scammed a bunch of hipsters into overpaying for what we now know is has all of the dessert authenticity of a McFlurry.

Among my many flaws, I can consider myself a "hater". Yes, I usually hate on things that I believe are monumentally retarded, but when you have an ego the size of mine, you think a lot of things are retarded. Take vanity license plates. When I was a kid in the 1980s, I thought it was cool that KITT had a license that said "KNIGHT". Luckily I outgrew the idea of using David Hasselhoff-infused television to inspire my choices, or else I would be running around all the time in red swimming trunks and sporting a fro-mullet only a Bavarian could love. During my days of TVgasm, I thought it would be cool to have TVGASM on a license plate. And hey, I think that a plate that says "MOKERS" would be pretty cool. Still, they are called vanity plates for a reason, and while I may think I have some original ideas, I don't want to be one of those car drivers that people see on the road and then groan at how retarded their personal plate is. Therefore, until I can afford a place where I don't have to park on the street, I will leave the "ASS MAN" license plate to Cosmo Kramer.

Needless to say, I am very excited that the Rocket is coming back to New York in pinstripes. I actually think our rotation would have survived without him for the regular season, but it's great to have him back if only because it really does make the Red Sox fans go crazy. They will never admit it, but deep in their hearts, they wanted Roger, not because their awesome rotation needs it, but because it would have been another way to kick the Yankees while we're down. We might not win the AL East or the World Series, but we'll go down swinging, that's for sure.

This past week was a pretty good one for celebrity sightings. I started things off last Thursday in a d-list sort of way when I spotted Tonya Cooley at Rite-Aid. You know, always made fun of Tonya and said that she drinks way too much and sleeps with too many people for anybody to ever take her seriously. Therefore, I wasn't feeling too much guilt as she plopped down a bottle of Cuervo and some mixers.

Friday was uneventful (OK, I saw Elodie from The Hills, but does that count?), but Cinco De Mayo brings out all sorts of faces. There were really too many people to mention running into Saturday, but I will say that I have once again bumped into Burton from Survivor. I used to make fun of Burton because he is so cheesy, but now as his hair is starting to gray ever so slightly, I realize that he's just like any other person out their trying to make a living and get some ass. If people are buying into his cheese, why should I care? I was much more intrigued as to why Elton Brand had walked into my little Mexican Dive Bar when he obviously should have been throwing a fight party.

The best came last, however. Whenever it is a big drinking weekend, some of my friends and I have made it a tradition to get Genghis Cohen, a popular restaurant on Fairfax Avenue in Los Angeles. Something about those New York-style eggrolls (tougher to find in this town than humanly possible) and crackerjack shrimp always takes care of whatever ails me. It appeared that Frances Fisher had the same idea, as well as Adam Sandler.

It's always fun to see celebrities when they are around their friends and aren't worried that people might be taking note of every single thing that they do (yes, I appreciate the irony in that statement), so it was fun watching Adam and his wife entertain people at a big table and do all of the things that we do when having fun at a Chinese restaurant such as constantly amusing ourselves with the lazy Susan, cracking jokes, and having a good time.

So, I really love my Blackberry Pearl. I have never been one of those "put every piece of technology you own on a belt holster" type of person, so it's nice that I can get all of those crackberry features all while being able to fit it into my pocket. I wish it took video and had GPS, but I'll live.

One thing I haven't really become accustomed to is all of the little keys. I have previously used slider and flip phones, so locking the keypad has never been a problem. Unfortunately, I haven't really made it a habit of locking my Pearl before I put it in my pocket, and therefore I have at least a couple of pocketdials a day. People who would normally be interested in a phone call from me (or at least my ego hopes that they are interested) are instead greeted with the strange sounds of whatever is going on around me, filtered through my pocket.

For some reason, whenever I pocketdial, my phone tends to pick my entries that start with K. My friends Kat and Katie have been very patient with me, but I think it will be a long time before they respond to any of my phone calls because I usually call them a couple of times a week for no reason at all. I would like to say it is through no fault of my own, but really it's all because I am lazy.

To all my friends, and Kat and Katie in particular, I promise to at least think about locking my keypad more often than I have been doing. Most likely nothing will change until I get my iPhone, but I am going to give it a try!

Count me in as one of the people who is with the "thumbs down" crowd for Pirates of the Caribbean. I saw the second movie first, was completely confused, and then saw the first movie. It made a little more sense, but overall I wasn't that impressed. I think we are all entitled to have a difference of opinion on movies, and God knows I like a lot of bad movies people can't stand, but this whole pirates thing is annoying. I actually have a problem with most of the people who enjoy this movie, but as with any franchise, there are always a few crazies (I am looking at you wizard hat-wearing freaks) that ruin it for the mostly sane masses who just want to see Johnny Depp vamp it up. Therefore, I make it my mission to kick at least one Jack Sparrow imitator in the nuts (or purple nurple if it is a woman) by the end of this summer.

Click here (or the picture aove) to go to TicTacUsa.com. Then click on Tic Tac TV. Watch the second commercial. Obviously, this is not real, but if there is a woman out there that can do this, she can give me a "swirly" anytime.

This picture comes courtesy of Australian Fashion Week. I guess nobody has to spend their nights awake in bed wondering if the models of Australia are having problems finding a good bikini wax.