Recently in Etc. Category

Around the time of the Olympics, this site had a ton of traffic. The load was so heavy, I got an e-mail from my web host saying I was taking up 80% of the server load before they had to shut down parts of the site. Considering I post about once a month, this sort of had me puuzzled as to what could have happened.

Some people blamed Bia and Branca, but that was actually not the case. The problem was with Amanda Beard and her cameltoe. That post about Speedo's LZR racer swimsuit shot my blog to the top of the "amanda beard cameltoe" search rankings in google. During the Olympics, this search went way up for some reason, with thousands of people killing my server looking for it.

Well, I cleaned up some of the peformance problems, but then there was a javascript bug that was causing IE to crash with a "Operation Aborted" error. Thanks to the suckitude that is IE, there was no more explanation. Many people once again blamed Bia and Branca because it happened after I posted all of those pictures of them. Well, it is kind of their fault, because the problem was Lightbox2, which I implemented only in response to posting their pictures. A small search put the problem in the Lightbox 2.0.4 library, and the solution was to downgrade to Lightbox 2.0.3. So, things should be working now.

Now back to our regularly scheduled lack of posting.

I love Target just like almost everybody else out there. They have good prices on brand names, but I am always on the lookout for generic substitutes for the things that I purchase a lot (Zone Bars, Vitamin Water, yogurt smoothies, cereal, paper towels, etc). In particular, the Market Pantry food brand has released alternatives for a number of items I am particularly addicted to, so naturally, I consider myself a perfect candidate to review these products. First up: Vitamin Water.

Google is constantly upgrading its Street View maps, and look who made the cut! I wish I could be the guy across the street from me that can afford to park his Jaguar on the street (maybe it's his beater), but at least I'll have a nice random conversation starter. I am sure you have all seen some of the more interesting things to happen on Google Street View, but my favorites are the potential crimes, the partially clad co-eds (#5) and the person taking a leak on the side of the road.

Please tell me this guy has been on American's Got Talent or something. If there is a no dunking rule in effect, is there any way anybody beats this guy at H-O-R-S-E in his own gym?

So, I feel bad. I went to Target this evening and pulled my usual illegal maneuver driving in the wrong direction down one of the lanes to get to an an available parking spot more quickly. That was kind of dickish enough, but as I was pulling into the parking spot, I completely cut off another woman who was trying to do the pull-through. I looked at the longing in her face, and thought about backing out again, but there was a long line to leave the parking lot, and I had already proved myself to be a dickhead once, so I didn't. Anyway, i'm sorry that I cockblocked you from your parking garage pull through, random Target shopper in a Civic.

In Japan, they prepare for everything, including the possibility of a papier mache zebra running amok. From my friends at [gridskipper.com].

I saw this site linked to from another blog and I immediately fell in love. This sort of completely worthless analysis of everyday objects is the type of thing I really enjoy. I always pass this check-cashing place on my way to the gym, and you can tell it used to be a KFC on the outside. I never took a picture, but always thought it was hilarious and literally thought to myself, "Do they think people won't notice they are getting their checks cashed from the colonel?".

Anyway, http://www.notfoolinganybody.com/ holds many examples of "bad conversions of storefronts past" including the picture included above, which is also on my way to the gym. Yes, Exaco. And they don't sell gas which really makes you wonder why they used the name. It looks like the site has gone stale, even if the front pages says something different. Still amusing though, and I'll be looking for more bad conversions wherever I go.

When I am not doing anything, I like to take part in my favorite past-time, which is watching bad science fiction movies. Today's bad science fiction movie is The One starring Jason Statham, Jet Li, Delroy Lindo, Carla Gugino and James Morrison, better known to you and I as Bill Buchanan, the longest tenured CTU agent on 24, which probably means he is dead after like two episodes next year.

The One is actually not that bad, although with Jason Statham and Jet Li (actually, multiple versions of Jet Li), you would think there would be a lot more fighting, and a lot less talking. It centers around the theory that there are multiple universes and a parallel you exists in every universe. Every time a parallel you dies, the others gain your strength. In this movie, Jet Li goes around killing other versions of himself to become stronger, and he must be stopped because the universe might implode if all the power is consolidated in one person.

Still with me? Sweet. As I was watching one of the fight scenes, I started to wonder why every single movie I have watched that deals with the future features people with the dumbest looking clothes. Look at what people were wearing in The Fifth Element. The only person who didn't look awful was Mila Jovavich, and that was only during the brief moments when she was naked. In The One the cops of the future/alternate universe all wear black leather. Think about all of those movies out there featuring a future world. Would you want to dress like any of those fools? Why hasn't somebody hired Tim Gunn to oversee their wardrobe departments?

Faced with possible visions of the future, I would rather see something like what we have in Children of Men. Yes, everybody is dressed up in what seems like ratty khakis, oxfords, polos, and knit sweaters that were all purchased at some Gap clearance sale, but if that is what the post-apocalypse is supposed to look like, at least I won't have to buy any new clothes.

One of the best parts about having your own web site, especially for geeks like me who love stats, is, well, the stats. It's really amazing to see where your traffic comes from, and how people are finding their way to your website. My search referrals are very interesting, but I wanted to first highlight the people that give me the most traffic. Sadly, it's not really about anything I write, but that's OK, because I haven't been writing here very much and the stuff I talk about is mundane. No, the people who are using my traffic the most are the people who link to my images from other places on the Internet. When I started and ran TVgasm, this really bothered me, because it was lost traffic and lost money. Nowadays, I don't expect this blog to make me money, so I don't care. The reward comes by looking at the people who link to your images and imagining what their lives are like. For a few months this summer, my site was the first listed when somebody did a google image search for "grey goose" or "grey goose vodka", and I continue to reap the rewards.

And I of course just had to share with you.

Thanks for help with the secret santa gift. Booze won. I bought a bottle of Francis Ford Coppola Merlot. I paired that with a gift certificate from Blockbuster, per the suggestion from Bauer's Sweetheart. I think people liked my gift, since it was stolen three times. As for me? I got a tear-off desk calendar for 2008. Sounds underwhelming, but it is the "Wost Case Scenario" tear-off desk calendar, meaning I'll be prepared for anything by this time next year.

For some mystery reason, I suck at buying gifts. OK, there is no mystery. I suck at buying gifts because in general I don't like spending a lot of time shopping. I always want to be thoughtful with my giving, but I usually end up buying a person a gift certificate unless I know exactly what they want. If I am forced to put too much thought into it, I will continually fret over whether the other person will like the gift, and I don't need the stress because I really do need to keep as much of my hair as possible. Anyway, I need some help buying a gift for my department's Secret Santa/white elephant game. Somebody out there has to have a good suggestion.

WiFi is awesome when you can get a signal, but sometimes when you are away from home, a signal is very hard to find. While waiting to get my car fixed today, I went to a Coffee Bean because I heard there was AT&T WiFi at these locations for free as long as you had AT&T broadband, which I do. Actually, I was going to go the Starbuck across the street when I noticed a well-proportioned blonde walk in, but I resisted. After grabbing a large Colomian Dark Roast and a blueberry scone, I sat down at a table and connected in less than 30 second, which has to be a new record. I didn't have to go through a lot of hoops and didn't have to sign up for any other service. I got a lot of work done, did a little people watching, and I'll gladly seek out a Coffee Bean whenever I need a connection, even if I'm really just on a search for a nice set of gams.

People wonder why I don't smile more often, and I'll admit, my "default" face is, more often than not, a scowl. People say I am much more pleasant when I am smiling, and so I am putting in a little more effort into things so I don't have to have to drink a pint glass of vodka before I get to a state where people start to believe that I am more personable.

Anyway, just to show you that I have always been a little moody, I offer you my first passport picture, taken 25 years ago, a little while before I came to the states. There are plenty of pictures of me as a baby out there, but I've always liked this one. I like my routines, and I have been pulling off that face for a quarter century.

I am not sure what I was thinking in that photograph. Perhaps "The rain forest is too fucking hot" or "I hope my head grows big enough to contain these ears". One great thing about that picture though, is all the hair I used to have. My middle name comes from my African grandfather, and I really did inherit his hair line.

I haven't really said anything about the iPhone. By now most of you know that I am a fan of Apple gear. I own an iMac, a PowerBook, an iPod, a shuffle, an Airport and a couple of non-functioning iBooks that I might get around to fixing and donating at some point. I will be buying an iPhone as well. I don't really care about the iPod features, but it does have everything I need in a phone. I love my Blackberry, but I am jonesing for a bigger screen and the visual voicemail sold me. Throw in full Safari and it is a winner. As for watching videos and listening to music, it will make the visit to the dentist office much more tolerable (as long as I am not getting my wisdom teeth removed again).

Obviously the iPhone has a lot of hype. Haters and fanboys can't stop talking about it. One thing that intrigued me was the person who started waiting in line 100 hours early. This person obviously has a lot of time on his hands, but it turns out he is a professional line-sitter. I thought about that and it amazed me that we have come to such a point in pop culture/entertainment/capitalism that people are not only willing to wait in line for the must-have gadget, but are willing to pay other people to wait in line for them. How much is that time worth? In Los Angeles, one person thinks it's worth $500.

I know this happened before with the X-Box and Playstation 3, but it seems like this is not a mere phenomenon anymore, and it seems like they hype on the iPhone is eclipsing them as well. I started wondering what people would pay others to stand in line for them. A movie? A big sale? Concert tickets? American Idol audition slot?

All I need now is a few million in venture capital.

PS Waiting in line was the theme of my latest post at Gridskipper.

I have a cold. My nose is stuffy. I have some congestion. I can't sleep and when I wake up in the morning, the post-nasal drip I suffer from makes every cough I suffer from an adventure. I suffered through it, and realized that I am just going to bite the bullet and take some drugs. I just need a solid decongestant and something for my allergies. Easier said than done of course.

The best decongestant out there for me was always Tavist-D, but after the D part of it was linked to increased chance of stroke in certain populations, it was pulled. I guess I can't be too pissed, but I wish people had read labels so I didn't have to go without it.

However, what really pisses me off is that I can't get, say, Claritin-D over the counter anymore. No, you have to take some fake card behind the front desk to get it. Simple enough, right? Well, that is not the end of it. You also have to hand over your driver's license and sign a book. I have a stuffy nose, so the feds want my signature? WTF?

It's because the "D" means pseudo-ephedrine, which is one of the starter drugs for methamphetimine. Politicians say that these drugs have resulted in a reduction in meth-related crime. If you read the actual stories, you will find that the reduction comes almost entirely from fewer drug labs, meaning less people to get busted for making meth. But just because there are fewer labs doesn't mean there is less meth. Most law enforcement says that the meth is now made in Mexico and smuggled into the United States. Gee, I never saw THAT one coming.

Oh, meanwhile, the latest statistics say that teen meth use has not dropped off, although to be fair, the latest statistics haven't caught up with the latest regulations. Every time somebody tries to ban the ingredients, the stats go down, until...the stats go back up. And the "good news" in the stats assumes that the people no longer running meth labs suddenly decided to become productive members of society and bake cookies for the homeless without any thought whatsoever into taking up another criminal enterprise.

Thanks for listening, and I promise I will only do my Libertarian rant thing once a month or so.