In The Future, Nobody Can Hear You Scream About All of the Bad Clothing Options Available to You

When I am not doing anything, I like to take part in my favorite past-time, which is watching bad science fiction movies. Today's bad science fiction movie is The One starring Jason Statham, Jet Li, Delroy Lindo, Carla Gugino and James Morrison, better known to you and I as Bill Buchanan, the longest tenured CTU agent on 24, which probably means he is dead after like two episodes next year.

The One is actually not that bad, although with Jason Statham and Jet Li (actually, multiple versions of Jet Li), you would think there would be a lot more fighting, and a lot less talking. It centers around the theory that there are multiple universes and a parallel you exists in every universe. Every time a parallel you dies, the others gain your strength. In this movie, Jet Li goes around killing other versions of himself to become stronger, and he must be stopped because the universe might implode if all the power is consolidated in one person.

Still with me? Sweet. As I was watching one of the fight scenes, I started to wonder why every single movie I have watched that deals with the future features people with the dumbest looking clothes. Look at what people were wearing in The Fifth Element. The only person who didn't look awful was Mila Jovavich, and that was only during the brief moments when she was naked. In The One the cops of the future/alternate universe all wear black leather. Think about all of those movies out there featuring a future world. Would you want to dress like any of those fools? Why hasn't somebody hired Tim Gunn to oversee their wardrobe departments?

Faced with possible visions of the future, I would rather see something like what we have in Children of Men. Yes, everybody is dressed up in what seems like ratty khakis, oxfords, polos, and knit sweaters that were all purchased at some Gap clearance sale, but if that is what the post-apocalypse is supposed to look like, at least I won't have to buy any new clothes.