This Never Would Have Happened to Rip Taylor

I got the afternoon off of work today, my thanks for putting in some extra time this past Tuesday for the Art History Department. The only thing I had to do to finish off my week was drop something off at DHL, but figured there was some place in West Hollywood I could that. I was shipping an old iBook I had to somebody, so I figured the place I usually use would have DHL pickup. Turns out that was not the case, as they are now a UPS Store, and I guess DHL can go fuck themselves.

I had to get a haircut, so I decided to use my trusty iPhone to see where the next nearest DHL location was while Chelsea was doing her thing. Luckily, there was a location in the neighborhood that looked like it would work perfectly. See, it's a postal center, and more! And as a bonus, it is owned and operated by Mary R. Gonsalves. How can I lose? Well, it turns out that Mary is exceedingly cheap. The box already had the shipping paid for, but to seal the return, I needed some tape. I asked Mary if she would tape it up for me, and she said I could buy tape. I don't mind paying for somebody to box the thing up, but I only needed to seal one end of a box that was less than six inches long. Should I really be forced into buying 15 yards of tape just for that box?

I pleaded with Mary, and deep down, I thought that anybody who would plaster pictures of Rip Taylor around their place of business couldn't be that bad, but Mary proved me wrong. I said I already had the box, but just needed some tape. She said "I am here to provide a SERVICE! You don't pay me. DHL doesn't pay me. How do I run a business like that!?" OK Mary, calm down. At this point, I didn't mind paying for tape, but what was I going to do with 15 yards of tape? So, I asked Mary if I could buy one foot of tape off of her roll. Mary boxes things for other people, but she wouldn't sell me tape. I said "OK, I am sorry." She pointed the tape out to me, and I said "Thank you." and walked out the door. What the fuck. I wonder if Rip Taylor knows that his image is being used to help this woman sell lazy bastards rolls of unnecessary tape. Her investment in some free tape, which might end up costing her $.01 might have turned into more business for her, but what do I know? She has been in West Hollywood for 19 years.

Thankfully, the iPhone found another place for DHL, and it was on my way to Rock and Roll Ralph's. Mister Mail was awesome. I walked in, said I needed to drop a package off for DHL. They said "Sure!" and when I handed it to them, they said "Would you like us to tape it up for you?". I said "Please!" and "How much do I owe you?". They said "Oh, nothing." like I was some retard for even asking. Their service was so refreshingly great compared to Mary that Mister Mail is going to become my official pack and ship location from now on.

Thanks Mr. Mail! Go to hell Mary!