Recently in WeHo Category

You don't have a lot of room in the trunk. Yes, I know it doesn't matter in this picture since the top is up, but you think that somebody who could afford a vanity plate like this could afford a slightly bigger car for those times when he needs to move his stuff. I hope his golf clubs are wearing their seatbelt.

Google is constantly upgrading its Street View maps, and look who made the cut! I wish I could be the guy across the street from me that can afford to park his Jaguar on the street (maybe it's his beater), but at least I'll have a nice random conversation starter. I am sure you have all seen some of the more interesting things to happen on Google Street View, but my favorites are the potential crimes, the partially clad co-eds (#5) and the person taking a leak on the side of the road.

I got the afternoon off of work today, my thanks for putting in some extra time this past Tuesday for the Art History Department. The only thing I had to do to finish off my week was drop something off at DHL, but figured there was some place in West Hollywood I could that. I was shipping an old iBook I had to somebody, so I figured the place I usually use would have DHL pickup. Turns out that was not the case, as they are now a UPS Store, and I guess DHL can go fuck themselves.

I had to get a haircut, so I decided to use my trusty iPhone to see where the next nearest DHL location was while Chelsea was doing her thing. Luckily, there was a location in the neighborhood that looked like it would work perfectly. See, it's a postal center, and more! And as a bonus, it is owned and operated by Mary R. Gonsalves. How can I lose? Well, it turns out that Mary is exceedingly cheap. The box already had the shipping paid for, but to seal the return, I needed some tape. I asked Mary if she would tape it up for me, and she said I could buy tape. I don't mind paying for somebody to box the thing up, but I only needed to seal one end of a box that was less than six inches long. Should I really be forced into buying 15 yards of tape just for that box?

I pleaded with Mary, and deep down, I thought that anybody who would plaster pictures of Rip Taylor around their place of business couldn't be that bad, but Mary proved me wrong. I said I already had the box, but just needed some tape. She said "I am here to provide a SERVICE! You don't pay me. DHL doesn't pay me. How do I run a business like that!?" OK Mary, calm down. At this point, I didn't mind paying for tape, but what was I going to do with 15 yards of tape? So, I asked Mary if I could buy one foot of tape off of her roll. Mary boxes things for other people, but she wouldn't sell me tape. I said "OK, I am sorry." She pointed the tape out to me, and I said "Thank you." and walked out the door. What the fuck. I wonder if Rip Taylor knows that his image is being used to help this woman sell lazy bastards rolls of unnecessary tape. Her investment in some free tape, which might end up costing her $.01 might have turned into more business for her, but what do I know? She has been in West Hollywood for 19 years.

Thankfully, the iPhone found another place for DHL, and it was on my way to Rock and Roll Ralph's. Mister Mail was awesome. I walked in, said I needed to drop a package off for DHL. They said "Sure!" and when I handed it to them, they said "Would you like us to tape it up for you?". I said "Please!" and "How much do I owe you?". They said "Oh, nothing." like I was some retard for even asking. Their service was so refreshingly great compared to Mary that Mister Mail is going to become my official pack and ship location from now on.

Thanks Mr. Mail! Go to hell Mary!

I have my issues with the West Hollywood Sheriffs, mainly because they seem to do nothing about my noisy neighbor downstairs. I used to think they have nothing better to do, but I may have to rethink that assertion. Yes, I may even owe them an apology.

Yesterday, I woke up once again in the middle of the night because of some noise. The details are hazy, because I didn't bother getting up out of bed (although if I thought they were famous, I would have dug up my video camera and sold it to TMZ), but it appeared like a couple of people chased down some guy who had been doing something or other in the neighborhood. I heard one of the chasers say "You are not getting away with it this time!" Then some silence, followed by a couple of police cars pulling up.

The person who has being chased, as well as one of the people doing the chasing, were thrown on the ground and placed in cuffs. This surprised the person who was chasing down the criminal and the chaser's friend said "he didn't do anything!". One of the cop says "He sucker-punched that other guy! I saw him myself." The person who they were all chasing was pretty silent.

Over the next few minutes, the police took statements, tried to get the sucker puncher to shut up. A few more cars showed up, and it looks like the perpetrator, who from what I heard had been pulling fire alarms at nearby businesses, will probably show up on the streets in a few more weeks in an orange jump suit collecting trash with Winona Ryder or Paris Hilton or whichever celebrity has been in trouble lately.

Anyway, here's to the WeHo sheriffs for getting their man.

There are many reasons to enjoy Los Angeles, and one of them is the greatness of Koo Koo Roo. It's sort of like a West Coast version of Boston Market for people who are concerned about health and image. However, Koo Koo Roo makes one mean bird, as the saying goes.

Anyway, I went there today for lunch, and I found myself in line behind a dude with a huge purple mohawk. In other words, just another day in Los Angeles. When he was finished paying, the person behind me says, "Talk about scary, huh?". If I were to review all of the people I have seen sporting a mohawk, I would say that this guy was not scary at all. Still, I turned around, to see who it was and said "You can say that again." And who was this person passing style judgment? some 45-year-old trying to look like a 35-year-old with such obvious plastic surgery in her face she would make Joan Rivers or Janice Dickinson look restrained in comparison.

However, in typical LA fashion, as I go outside, both the mohawk guy and the woman so disapproving of his style each drove away in a Prius.

I do not own anything made by Prada, not that I don't think it is a fine brand worthy of many patrons. Perhaps I am too cheap or have no sense of style (probably both), but neither would explain why I have this Prada bag. Well, it came from my optometrist, La Optometrique in West Hollywood. I can only imagine why they have extra Prada bags lying around, but I was lucky enough to walk away with one compliments of my purchase of four boxes of Acuvue Advance.

I guess I shouldn't complain about getting my lenses in a Prada bag, but it was clearly the smallest Prada bag ever, and therefore would not impress anybody should I be seen carrying it around. Taking one look at it, people might assume I walked into Prada and bought a postcard, just so I could be seen with a fancy bag.