Recently in Movies Category
In a recent thread about the Yankees/Devil Rays game one of the commenters took some quotes from one of my all-time favorite movies, The Big Lebowski, and rewrote them to feature Indians closer Joe Borowski as the Dude. You have to love both baseball and the movie to get any humor at all, but it inspired me to whip up the movie poster above. Continue on for the full comments, and don't forget to visit RLYW if you like the Yankees.
This movie clip is from A.I. Assault and carries the tag line Programmed To Think. Wired To Destroy. If that doesn't suck you in, try the plot synopsis:
When a plane carrying a pair of top secret military robots crashes on a deserted Pacific island, a team of Navy seals must find them and turn them off as soon as possible for the longer they are activated, the smarter they become.
Still haven't sucked you in? Tony Gonzalez makes a cameo! Yes, the Kansas City Chiefs star tight end apparently decided to try a little acting on the side. He is co-piloting a plane with George Takei at the helm, and, well, let's just say he's no match for secret military robots. In the battle of professional athletes who moonlight as co-pilots, you have to give the edge to Kareem Abdul-Jabar.
I was going to boycott The Bank Job out of spite, but I noticed it was directed by Roger Donaldson, and I owe him a lot for introducing the world to Natasha Henstridge in Species. Guy Ritchie's does have a movie coming out this year, and although it doesn't have Jason Statham, he is sticking to the plot he knows best. In the meantime, enjoy this great short Guy Ritchie did for BMW. It stars Madonna, Clive Owen, and the E39 M5.
I think Will Ferrell is funny, but I am starting to get a little sick of his standard shtick. The last movie of his that I thought was really funny was Anchorman. Every movie he has been in since then (with the exception of stranger than fiction) usually has him playing the exact same type of character. He's still funny, and there are still parts of his movies that make me howl in the theater (like when he stabs himself in Talladega Nights), but I feel I know the formula and therefore I am fine waiting for his movies to come out on DVD before I see them.
Semi-Pro might be different. Kent Ackerman apparently did a lot of work to make the movie look and feel authentic, and I appreciate that. I absolutely LOVE the ABA even though I was born several years after the league was absorbed by the NBA. I was really lucky that my dad loved basketball so much, so I got to hear stories of Dr. J and George Gervin. I practiced my free throws and layups when I went to the court, but I would always find time to work on a little finger roll. You could imagine how ecstatic I was when Nike came out with a series of commercials around 2002 that featured an ABA theme and lots of funk:
Now that's amazing. I love the shots of them getting off the bus. I really need a suit like Jermaine O'Neal (about 50 seconds into the video above). The Dr. Funk commerical was OK, but it just got better from there:
Wow. George Clinton, Bootsy Collins, and the rest of the P-Funk all stars. And if I am wearing Jermaine O'Neal's suit, my honey should be wearing Lisa Leslie's dress (51 seconds in). I am seriously beginning to wonder whether Nike should A) Sue Newline for stealing their concept and thinking people would be fooled by using pasty white guys or B) Get Bow Wow and all his friends from Roll Bounce together to make their own movie. Now THAT would be a movie I would watch. Maybe I should get started on the screenplay.
When I am not doing anything, I like to take part in my favorite past-time, which is watching bad science fiction movies. Today's bad science fiction movie is The One starring Jason Statham, Jet Li, Delroy Lindo, Carla Gugino and James Morrison, better known to you and I as Bill Buchanan, the longest tenured CTU agent on 24, which probably means he is dead after like two episodes next year.
The One is actually not that bad, although with Jason Statham and Jet Li (actually, multiple versions of Jet Li), you would think there would be a lot more fighting, and a lot less talking. It centers around the theory that there are multiple universes and a parallel you exists in every universe. Every time a parallel you dies, the others gain your strength. In this movie, Jet Li goes around killing other versions of himself to become stronger, and he must be stopped because the universe might implode if all the power is consolidated in one person.
Still with me? Sweet. As I was watching one of the fight scenes, I started to wonder why every single movie I have watched that deals with the future features people with the dumbest looking clothes. Look at what people were wearing in The Fifth Element. The only person who didn't look awful was Mila Jovavich, and that was only during the brief moments when she was naked. In The One the cops of the future/alternate universe all wear black leather. Think about all of those movies out there featuring a future world. Would you want to dress like any of those fools? Why hasn't somebody hired Tim Gunn to oversee their wardrobe departments?
Faced with possible visions of the future, I would rather see something like what we have in Children of Men. Yes, everybody is dressed up in what seems like ratty khakis, oxfords, polos, and knit sweaters that were all purchased at some Gap clearance sale, but if that is what the post-apocalypse is supposed to look like, at least I won't have to buy any new clothes.
This weekend, Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter announced the birth of their second baby. I love Tim Burton's movies, but how scary must that kid's bedroom be? And even if their isn't a Edward Scissorhands mobile floating over your head, waiting to impale you to death, imagine it is bed time. I wonder what sort of reading mommy and daddy have waiting for you? Sure, seeing Helena Bonham Carter looking back at you while you are breastfeeding isn't so bad, but what happens when she is too tired and Tim Burton is looking back at you while he is giving you the bottle? For the child's sake, I hope Tim let's his wife pick the nanny. 
Since I left TVgasm, I have watched a lot less television. One show I never thought I would give up is America's Next Top Model. I love Tyra, I love the show. However, I just haven't been able to get into Cycle 9. I watched the first episode, but haven't seen it since, and I am not going through withdrawal. It's blasphemy, I know. But it's also true. I still have those episodes on the Tivo, so I will get to them eventually, but at my own pace. Hopefully this won't affect Tyra when I ask her to marry me, but you know how fickle women can be.
In the meantime, I am powering through my Netflix queue at a more regular pace. Last two movies were Roll Bounce and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang. I saw the former with a few friends of mine in anticipation for a roller skating party (yes, I was on skates. no, there are no pictures. yes, I had fun) and the latter because it was featured in Veronica Mars. I actually liked Bow Wow and Chi McBride more than Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer.
A few weeks ago, I posted about my Netflix addiction and asked people to be my friend. So far it has been very interesting. You get to see what movies your friends have rated, as well as what they have in their cue. If we weren't friends anyway, this would be great stalker material. IndustryMonkey/TV Insider and I must be long lost relatives because our tastes are 92% similar. Three other people have at least 70% similarity which means that if they were to drop over unannounced, there is a good chance at least one of the three movies I have at home will be to their liking. HoneyBunny is only a 49% match, but maybe she'll stick around for the popcorn.
UPDATE: Yay T-Bag! He is now in second place, and it looks like our first movie night will be a Resident Evil double feature.
However, the reason why I got Netflix is that I love SciFi, and there are just so many movies out there that I never got to see and don't pop up enough for me to record in their natural state (i.e., not edited for content, to fit my screen, or time alloted). Case in point Mission to Mars. So many people hated that movie, said it ripped off from Kubrick, etc. I thought it was enjoyable! It was average science fiction, but it looked great in 1080i, and I think it did an interesting job using the Face on Mars idea to explain life on the Red Planet. Besides, as Gary Sinise-led science fiction goes, it's ten times better than Impostor.
On the other hand. I also rented Aeon Flux and that really fucking sucked. Still, it has not prevented me from placing The Core in my queue.
BTW, does anybody use Netflix friends? If you have Netflix, I am always open for recommendations.
The highlight of the night, however, was catching a glimpse of Tarantino himself. went to lineup at Grauman's Chinese for the 12:20 AM, just as the earlier show was letting out. A few minutes before we were to go into the theater, I hear a cheer and people in the line start clapping. Quentin Tarantino is shaking hands with the people waiting in line and people are loving every minute of it. He could have taken the side exit, but he knows the people who are about to sit through three hours of a movie that starts at almost 12:30 are the ones who make him money, so he went out the front.
Earlier in the evening, as I was walking towards the Chinese Theater, I saw hottie tennis star Maria Sharapova running away from photographers but not really. I think she was just happy to get noticed, which might change if she looks at the pictures of her tomorrow on Wire Image and the captions say "Anna Kournikova".
