Protesting Kellogg's .... Now With More Haiku

So Michael Phelps loses his endorsement deal with Kellogg's after somebody catches him taking a couple of bong rips at a party. Kellogg's is a private company, so they are welcome to end any sponsorship deal as they see fit. I think this whole thing is ridiculous. The big outrage from all of this is that we spend billions of dollars a year trying to keep people from smoking pot under the assumption that Reefer Madness will afflict the country and kids will want to toke up instead of going on to be highly productive members of society.

Phelps really goes against everything we are supposed to learn about drugs as we grow up. We don't even know how much pot he smokes, but it clearly hasn't made him lazy, fat, or taken away his motivation. I have decided that I am going to boycott Kellogg's, which really hurts me more than it does them, because I sure need Special K more than they need my $10 a month in cereal purchases. Therefore, I am decided to focus my energy on an even more useless protest: mildly amusing haikus.

Michael Phelps hits bong.
Nobody is getting hurt.
Kellogg's is spineless.

Swimmer Wins Eight Golds.
Eats ten meals daily to train.
Pot aids hunger. Duh.

Why So Serious?
Munchies feed Kellogg's profits.
Should triple Phelps pay.