Half-Black Charisma

The Smallest of Tributes to Patrick Swayze

2009-09-15T15:18:47Z

I don't really have to say much about Patrick Swayze. When people talk about his greatest work, they usually mention Dirty Dancing and Ghost while I am much more of a Road House and Point Break kind of guy. Some of you may be upset at his death, but fear not for there is a way for you to appreciate his great legacy in the form of one of the greatest backhanded compliments to any piece of American cinema: Point Break Live!. A few words of warning: buy the poncho.

Oh Yeah, I Moved

2009-08-28T16:54:53Z

Syracuse Beats Cornell in the Battle for Upsate, NY Lacrosse Supremacy

2009-05-26T22:30:20Z

Syracuse Rallies for 2nd straight National Lacrosse Title [Yahoo Sports]

Duke Basketball Player to Play Syracuse Football. In Other News, My World Implodes

2009-05-14T16:55:07Z

I hate Duke. No, I really hate Duke. I love it when they lose in the NCAA tournament. But all of that hate is for Duke basketball. I think Duke is a good school, and none of their other sports too put up enough to hate them that much. I have lots of friends that went to Duke. Really! But I still hate Duke basketball, and so it is going to take a little while to get used to the idea of one of the cornerstones of the Blue Devil basketball program over the last four years, Greg Paulus is going to use his one year of college football eligibility to play for the Syracuse Orange football team. Normally, I would be against something like this, but let's be honest here. It's not like the Orange football program can get any lower. Other than victories over Notre Dame and Louisville (not in the same year!), the program hasn't show much of anything. The program needs excitement and to get some fans back. In high school Paulus was a star QB for a local high school team and had offers from Miami and Notre Dame. He may have never thrown a pass in a college football game, but neither has any other QB on the roster. And we did beat out some other programs (Michigan, Nebraska) who reportedly looking at Paulus as well, and it's been a long time since we beat anybody recruiting anything in football. So I guess there will be at least one former Duke basketball player that I am going to embrace.... Don't go getting any ideas Christian Laettner. [Remember, if you need to get the latest scoop on Syracuse sports, Troy Nunes is An Absolute Magician should be your first destination]

Why Must the Government Mess With My Breakfast Food?

2009-05-13T16:09:18Z

Now that the uproar of the swine flu has begun to wane, it looks like the FDA is ready to move on to more important matters. Next up on the list? Making sure your cereal is not in "serious violation" of federal law. That's right, the FDA is upset that General Mills has been bragging that eating Cheerios can help lower your cholesterol. Perhaps it is slightly unethical to say that Cheerios will lower your cholesterol, and if you have high cholesterol you should probably see your doctor and start exercising, but from what I gather, nobody with heart disease has opted for Honey Nut Cheerios instead of a triple-bypass because of what it said on the box. So what if the claims aren't 100% true, at least the boxes don't contain e. coli, which is actually a huge accomplishment after all the food recalls over the last few years. General Mills will back down on its claims, change a few sentences on the box and on the Cheerios Website, and another government bureaucrat will path themselves on the back for a doing a great job at something nobody gave a shit about in the first place. Congratulations Steven Sundlof, you are a jackass.

What is Wrong With This Picture - Hotties on Classic Cars Edition

2009-02-10T18:48:53Z

Racing hottie Danica Patrick will be featured in the upcoming 2009 Edition of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and SI has released some images from her shoot on their microsite. I prefer my girls with a little less airbrushing going on, but the really egregious part of this photo is they are covering up way too much of the car! Now this is more like it: [Danica Patrick Straddles A Cobra in New SI Swimsuit Edition - Jalopnik] [Naked Car Courtesy Cobra Country - Cobra Country]

Protesting Kellogg's .... Now With More Haiku

2009-02-06T17:00:31Z

So Michael Phelps loses his endorsement deal with Kellogg's after somebody catches him taking a couple of bong rips at a party. Kellogg's is a private company, so they are welcome to end any sponsorship deal as they see fit. I think this whole thing is ridiculous. The big outrage from all of this is that we spend billions of dollars a year trying to keep people from smoking pot under the assumption that Reefer Madness will afflict the country and kids will want to toke up instead of going on to be highly productive members of society. Phelps really goes against everything we are supposed to learn about drugs as we grow up. We don't even know how much pot he smokes, but it clearly hasn't made him lazy, fat, or taken away his motivation. I have decided that I am going to boycott Kellogg's, which really hurts me more than it does them, because I sure need Special K more than they need my $10 a month in cereal purchases. Therefore, I am decided to focus my energy on an even more useless protest: mildly amusing haikus. Michael Phelps hits bong. Nobody is getting hurt. Kellogg's is spineless. Swimmer Wins Eight Golds. Eats ten meals daily to train. Pot aids hunger. Duh. Why So Serious? Munchies feed Kellogg's profits. Should triple Phelps pay.

Ginger, Mary Ann, or Jeannie?

2009-01-21T19:04:08Z

Is this how people discussed television before blogs? I don't know why that girl is so bitter about Ginger, but I would always go with Mary Ann.

Existensial Miller High Life Commercial of the Day

2009-01-20T23:23:13Z

Godspeed Ricardo

2009-01-14T21:53:15Z

I know there is a cloud lined in fine Corinthian leather waiting for you. Ricardo Montalbon Dies at 88 [NYT]

Big Lebowski Interpretations: South Park

2008-12-17T21:16:59Z

Still needs some Jesus Quintero.

Worst Traveling Day Ever, Not That It Matters

2008-11-29T16:06:30Z

Wow, what a Thanksgiving day I had. I thought I would save a little money/avoid the rush of travelers by flying on Thanksgiving day. By taking an early flight, I would reach my destination after most of the football is finished, but with plenty of time left over to get to the table in time for dinner. Or so I thought.]]> work on a Heroes recap. Unfortunately, after completing the self check-in I discovered that my flight was delayed 3 hours, which would put me in the Land of 1000 Lakes after my connecting flight was supposed to depart. Not good. As I made my way to the counter with my boarding pass, I was slowly building my argument for the inevitable argument I was about to have with the agent. Except it never came. The agent at Northwest realized the error, and went so far as to put me on another plane on another airline in order to fix their mistake. Excellent! I am now on American Airlines, and this flight will actually get me to Iowa quicker than the original flight. I take a nice brisk walk from Terminal 2 to Terminal 4 at LAX and do the self check-in thing once again. They were even kind enough to give me Priority AAccess, which allowed me to skip the plebeian security lines and hobnob with all of those miles upgraders and the other poor folk who can't afford to charter a Gulfstream in these tough times. The most interesting part of that security line was the woman wearing fur. Fur! and it wasn't like fake fur lining her parka, it was actual...fur! I wonder if I was the only person in line that wanted to pour three ounces or less of whatever liquid I had on my carry-on onto her. Animal rights outrage aside, I made it through security and on to one of my favorite places on earth: the airport bar. I have met interesting people while trying to catch that last drink/meal before the flight, and since I figured a drink would help me sleep on my flight, I saddled myself up and ordered two (since it was still early, I topped my vodka off with orange juice). At the bar, I had a good conversation with a couple of other college football fans whose programs have fallen on hard times (Tennessee, Nebraska), and you can tell you are drinking with old-schoolers when they are kicking back Jim Beam at 8AM. But this is a tale of sorrow and misery. With a little juice and distilled spirits in my system, I was bopping my head a little more than usual as I made my way down the concourse to my gate and through the jetway to my seat. I had the window seat with a nice-smelling MILF (no ring!) when the troubles began. As we were backing out of the gate, we had a failure of the hydraulics, which are something you will need if you are going to fly a plane with any modicum of safety. You've probably experienced the next part of the story. Airline gets new plane, you depart two hours later than normal, you miss your connection, and are stranded somewhere not very close to your destination. Except I was kind of close to my destination. It's 5PM. O'Hare is only about 250 miles from my final destination (love that movie, btw). Figuring light traffic due to everybody else being inside eating Turkey, I decided I could make it in 3.5 hours driving. I figured if I could get my bag within an hour or so, I could still say I spent at least a couple of hours with my family on Thanksgiving. This whole time I began to worry that my phone would run out because I forgot my charger (which is why I didn't use the cameraphone to document more of this ordeal). It was not to be so, but I do need to say one more thing about my flight. To the pilot of AA flight 54 from LAX to ORD on November 27, don't make announcements on the plane that you will be holding your connecting flights at the gates. You know it's not going to happen. Don't try and get our hopes up when you have no power to do facilitate that at all. You KNEW that we were all watching WALL-E and that we would all be emotionally spent and extra trusting in the ability of humanity to work things out. Well, go fuck yourself. I was watching The Brave One on DVD, so I was jaded and saw through your bullshit. But back to my bag. Ever since the airline restrictions on liquids, I end up packing a lot of extra stuff into my checked bag because it makes security easier. Yes, it's a pain in the ass if the airlines lose something, but the only item I need with me when I am traveling is my laptop. Since I missed my flight, American was kind enough to book me on the next available flight (which punches another hole in the "we're holding your connections at the gate" farce by the captain) by the time I had reached my gate. But I wanted to drive, so I needed my bag. But they can't get the bag because it their handling system has it booked for another flight. Seriously, I had landed ten minutes ago and busted my ass through terminal G, and they already had my flight booked and bags assigned? This is more efficiency than I have ever seen from an airline. American was kind enough to put me up in a hotel, but I explained that I needed my bag because I was going to drive the rest of the way. The gate agent said check the baggage claim because my bag might still show up before it is transferred to the other flight, which is obviously a suggestion made just to get me out of her hair. However, I knew they were working on a Holiday and it sucks for them to be working as much as it sucks for me to be traveling, so I waited by the baggage claim patiently while my bag never showed up. Next stop: Baggage Services. The first counter said they couldn't request a change order for my bag because they use a different system. I would have to go to another baggage counter to get that done. Second baggage counter and a nice woman gave me plenty of attitude about my desire to get my bag. She said they can't do it, but it will show up at my final destination. After telling her I was planning on driving and needed my contacts in the bag (true), she said that she would put the request in, but there was no guarantee, and it would take an hour. The time frame was really biting into my hopes of getting home for turkey and stuffing, but I still thought it would be possible. Maybe, just maybe, something amazing would happen. Alas, there was no miracle. I decided it was getting too late to drive. I went to a ticket counter and got me hotel voucher (Crowne Plaza, not too shabby). Unfortunately, they didn't see fit to give me a meal voucher, saying they didn't do that for domestic flights. I told them if they were admitting fault for not being able to get me to my destination on time, they could possibly give me a meal for my trouble. Would it really be so bad? On a holiday? I tried one last time to say I needed my bag because it contains medication (hey, I always through some Tylenol PM in there just in case), they said unless it contained insulin, I was out of luck because they had fewer staff because of the holiday.

I would have had more sympathy for them if I weren't witness to another group of idle gate agents talking about maternity pants (the discussion basically was about how long it takes before you just give up and wear leggings all the time). Discouraged and disheveled, I made my way out to the Crowne Plaza shuttle, cursing myself for leaving my warm clothes in my bag, wondering if that chocolate chip cookie and skim milk at starbucks would be my most satisfying meal of the day. The shuttle driver to the Crowne Plaza was a good guy, in the middle of a double shift on a holiday. I met a nice retired couple from Wisconsin, who also missed their connection to Madison. My sympathy ran out, however, once I heard that they were getting back from Dubai had a special Thanksgiving Day feast courtesy of British Airways executive class. The hotel was nice, I finished watching The Brave One and after showering in the morning and getting some bad hotel coffee in me, I realized I had about three hours left until I was home. Once there, I was still pissed at what happened, but couldn't really be that mad. Oe of my older sisters got married to a great guy and I got to see a lot of nieces and nephews that I haven't seen in a long time (or at all). I got to eat a lot of food, including some great African food that I can never seem to duplicate in my own kitchen. Instead of being pissed at the airlines, I'll just be happy I did make it back to my family, and didn't miss anything important. Here is a look at some of the adorable cousins that soothed my savage nerves:

>
This is Junior, currently one of two boys joining ten girls among the nieces and nephews on my mom's side of the family.

This is Manuela, the youngest.

Deana (left) and Viany really want to visit Los Angeles, and yes, that is a tux. Perks of being in the wedding party.

Here are the flower girls. From left my neices, Divine, Latecia, and Jeannie, and another girl from the groom's side. The all seem very sweet, but once you put them together...

And here is my sister Ikami and her new Husband Edmond. My mom is hoping for a set of twins by this time next year.

What About My Friends?

2008-11-19T00:37:11Z

Just a quick note to give a shout-out to my friends Katie and Hannah, who have recently debuted new websites, designed by yours truly. Katie's was built in Joomla with a template based on a Rockettheme design, and Hannah's was built using the latest version of Movable Type.

A Special Message From Keith Olbermann

2008-11-12T23:20:36Z

I usually don't get too political on the blog, but I am a fan of libertarian causes and so was vehemently against California's Prop 8. I haven't posted much in the last month or so, but thought I would share this, courtesy of the Courtesy Campaign:

PS I think Keith Olbermann is a massive asswipe most of the time, but he makes some sense here.

Submitted Without Comment

2008-11-04T22:47:23Z