Half-Black Charisma

You Have to Love a Massage Therapist With a Sense of Humor

2008-06-22T22:55:33Z

Yankees Hope to Stay Strong, Even With a Limp Wang

2008-06-18T17:39:19Z

Earlier this year, I was really pleased at how well one of my favorite Yankees, Chien Ming Wang was performing, even as the rest of the Yankees were for the most part shitting the bed. Well, karma bit me in the ass. The Yankees continued to suck, and teams even started slapping Wang up a little bit. I stopped writing about Wang (and, at all) even though there were many times I felt like making the obvious Wang jokes. More recently, the Yankees are on a roll, but Wang was injured rounding the bases in Houston. He hopes to return by September. In the meantime, we have to hope the Yankees offense, which has suddenly found some life, is able to carry us for a little while longer. For the now, the Yankees are playing hard without Wang, but let's hope he gets better sooner rather than later.

My Friends in Los Angeles: Cabaret Edition

2008-06-18T16:49:29Z

I guess I have been pretty busy lately, and therefore I have only been updating my blog when my friends are doing things. Since I haven't updated in more than three weeks, I guess that means I need more friends! Ha ha ha. I'm hilarious. Anyway, for those of you who are in Los Angeles at any time this summer and are looking for something to do on the weekend, let me suggest you check out Cabaret at the Morgan-Wixson theater in Santa Monica. Cabaret is a great musical, and it stars my good friend Hannah Campbell in the lead role as Sally Bowles. It's been a long time since I have been in a musical, but I can still appreciate all the hard work that goes into it. I'm looking forward to it, especially since it's possible to buy the tickets online meaning you don't have to guess which seats you are getting the night of the show.

My Friends on YouTube: TVgasm Intern Edition

2008-05-30T05:07:23Z

Surely you all remember the incomparable Nick Walsh, better known as TVgasm intern version 1.0 and creator of his own comic book series starring none other than the great Julie Chen. Nick has been in Los Angeles for awhile, and I keep on meaning to go hiking at Fryman Canyon with him, but for now enjoy his latest effort Face the News. I'm getting a little too old, so it is perhaps a little too meta for me, but if you dig Facebook, you should check it ou.

Now That's More Like It

2008-05-28T04:27:07Z

Here's to the 2008 Syracuse Men's Lacrosse team, NCAA Champions. One year removed from the worst season in school history, the players came back with something to prove and did a great job reminding everybody why they have more lacrosse championships than anybody else. With the football team blowing goats and the basketball team missing the tournament, it was good to see Syracuse Athletics back on top once again.

My Friends On YouTube: USC Edition

2008-05-20T06:07:17Z

My good friend Melanie just graduated from journalism school at USC and is now a bit of inspiration for me. I have been thinking about going to get my MBA, but always worry if I have the chops to go back to school full-time. Melanie not only went back to school, but finished at the top of her class. Oh, and did I mention she had time to get married and throw a kick ass wedding in Toronto as well (with an assist to Mrs. Herschorn of course)? I hope I can repeat some of her success when I hit the books again, although finding somebody to say I do might be a little more difficult. Check out Melanie's demo reel and if you see her on the street, make sure to say Hello.

What the Frak Happened to Battlestar Galactica?

2008-05-13T18:04:05Z

I come to bury Battlestar Galactica, not to praise it. BSG, now in its fourth and final season, once defined everything that was great in modern science fiction. If you had asked me back in 2004 whether I would have been happy with the show ending after four seasons, I would have screamed bloody murder about the network executives not realizing what a great show they had on their hands. Ending such greatness after only four seasons would be such a shame! But after watching season 3, I actually wonder how the hell the show has made it this far. It used to be the greatest science fiction show on the planet but is now almost a parody of itself. And the saddest part is that it doesn't have to end this way. Part way through season 4, I see a lot of improvement, but there is still a lot of work to be done.]]> Pegasus, we learned the humans could be just as cold, ruthless, and despicable as the Cylons. In the meantime, the series continued to bless us with interesting and complex characters. And then there was season 3. In the third season, the writers decided that the series should focus less on what is happening in this re-imagined universe and should be concerned with becoming a dramatic representation for war and terrorism. And hey, that's not necessarily such a bad thing. If there was nobody out there that spoke out on what is wrong with the world, then nothing will change. Unfortunately, this quest to find some sort of moral clarity on the part of the writers is a task that seemed, at times, a little over their heads. Season 3 started with a lot of the best episode of the series, but once the occupation was over, they seemed as ill-prepared to deal with the aftermath of their decisions as any politician on the planet. As much we are forced to look inward, it seems like the writers would rather not make any tough decisions. At the end of a third season we had a show full of characters whose actions had no consequences. You could still enjoy the show because you had invested yourself into the characters and you wanted to know what happened, but the shit the writers put the characters through is comical. For me, it took itself so seriously, at times I thought I was watching a poorly written farce of the show. I understand that BSG wants to get through some complex things, and that they need to get them done over the course of the season because you never know when the network will pull the plug, however, they have decided to take on way too much. They don't have to explore every single character to the nth degree. I think a better focus would have added more coherence to the series, especially the last few seasons. I don't mind the series making me go "Hmmm", I just hate it when I am constantly thinking "Wha??". Sure, that means some characters will be a little weaker, but when you only have 12-15 episodes a season, you need to make some sacrifices. Entering the fourth season, I was really worried about the ratings. I thought the ratings would be low. The show has episodes, but there are very few episodes you can watch alone and have any idea what is going on. Therefore, it makes it hard for the casual fan to get into it. To have any idea what is going on this season, you need to have seen most of the previous seasons. For people who like the show, this is nice because they are allowed to go deep into subjects this way. It's a good show, so that shouldn't necessarily mean bad ratings, but combine that with the way the writers have taken away lots of the "purity" of the sci-fi involved, and you have a recipe for disaster. Instead of being a great sci-fi show, they decided that they would become yet another allegory on society, and the fact that it happens to take place in space, and (often very hot-looking) robots are involved seems like a coincidence. Since season 4 is the final season, I was expecting a lot of hype, but nothing could prepare me for Battlestar Galactica: Phenomenon, or as I think it should be more accurately titled, Battlestar Galactica: Circle Jerk. While I was questioning the quality of the show, the wizards at NBCU decided to trot out a bunch of celebrities to convince the world that BSG was mainstream enough for them to watch. And you know nothing bad can happen when a science fiction series decides it wants to be mainstream! I had a few problems with Phenomenon. First, it seems like it was rushed together. Instead of doing actual research, they decided to find a few people who seemed to actually like the series, and then filled it out with testimonials from other people on the NBCU payroll. I'm not saying that S. Epatha Merkelson and Jessie L. Martin aren't huge BSG fans, but it seems like their names where the answer to the question "Where do we find some black people who watch the show?" . A better question would be, where do we find the black people on the show? We have a second-rate Cylon and Dualla. That's slim pickings, but alas, it's a question for another time. They also were able to answer questions like "We need somebody funny to say they like the know." Answer: Joel McHale. "We need somebody with a little edge that watches the show." Answer: Scott Ian, come on down! How about "Let's sneak in somebody from a show that is not as well known, and maybe we can get a ratings boost." Answer: Ed Quinn from Eureka. And don't forget the most important question:""Just in case we don't have enough fan boys, let's get somebody to reel the rest of them in." Answer: Joss Whedon. See, I love Joss. I know way more about Buffy the Vampire Slayer than I care to admit, but I saw the last three seasons of Buffy and so unfortunately he is not the person I want to hear from when I have concerns that my favorite show has become a meandering mess and doesn't know what to do with itself. However, I love the show, and they can still do amazing things, especially when their F/x budget is big. I was a little upset with how season 4 started, but then I calmed down as things moved on. At the end of season 3, I really couldn't stand a lot of the characters and if the survival of the human race meant people like Baltar need to continue to live, then we should just stick a fork in it. BTW, the obsession with redeeming Baltar over and over and over again is one of the most annoying parts of the show. Hey! He's flawed! I GET IT. Just kill him off already. Somebody else can be the messiah and indiscriminately bone all of the hot chicks in the fleet. Season 4 started strong. I liked how the writers returned to making the show about the human race getting back to space. They have forced colonial political intrigue upon us, which is unbearably forced, but we got a deeper view into Cylon politics, and there is a lot of good shit going on there. And this is where we have another problem. There is only so much time left in the series. Why must the writers constantly waste it on adding layers of forced drama? It just leaves more for them to take care of in the following weeks, leaving less time to focus on the stuff that is actually good. Where are we now? I have not completely written off the series. As I said before, I like the characters and I want to see what happens. It's not too late for the writers to start making some of those hard decisions. They've taught us to rethink what it takes to make good science fiction, and maybe it's time for them to take a look at this great universe they created and think about how they want to finish things off.

One Problem With Convertibles

2008-05-12T03:59:38Z

You don't have a lot of room in the trunk. Yes, I know it doesn't matter in this picture since the top is up, but you think that somebody who could afford a vanity plate like this could afford a slightly bigger car for those times when he needs to move his stuff. I hope his golf clubs are wearing their seatbelt.

Crush: Law and Order Edition - Alana De La Garza

2008-05-08T16:39:33Z

I've spoken several times about my Man Crushes, but I haven't dedicated any space to talk about the women that make me swoon. It's no secret that I love Tyra Banks but she is not the only person who makes me go ga-ga. In general, I don't think I have a "type", but if I had to choose, I would go with brunette over blonde, butt over boobs, and brains over most anything else. Extra points if they have an independent streak or are mildly crazy. I was watching Law and Order (the original) last night, and I have come to realize that I have a big crush an Alana De La Garza who plays A.D.A. Connie Rubirosa. Brunette? Check. Butt? She's part Hispanic, so check. Brains? Well, she plays a lawyer on TV, and that is good enough for me. The Assistant District Attorneys on Law and Order have provided me a lot of crush material. Jill Hennessy as Claire Kincaid. Yes. Carey Lowell as Jamie Ross? Yes (who says no to a Bond Girl?). Angie Harmon as Abbie Carmichael. Oh hell yes (you know she loves the NY Giants)! Elisabeth Rohm as Serena Southerlyn? She was blonde, but when it came to fighting back against her bosses, she was top notch. Annie Parisse as Alexandra Borgia? She was taken from us too soon, and for sure. On last night's episode, Connie is assigned to be the legal aid attorney for a suspected double murderer. Although she signed up for her job to put people like him behind bars, she does her best as his attorney, and completely destroyed her boss in the courtroom and made Detective Anthony Anderson look like a fool. Connie has been with us for a couple of seasons now, and with the way the A.D.A.s move through this show, she might not be around very long, so enjoy her while you can.

Captain of the Obvious

2008-04-20T19:42:44Z

Target Unboxed: Vitamin Water

2008-04-20T18:26:55Z

I love Target just like almost everybody else out there. They have good prices on brand names, but I am always on the lookout for generic substitutes for the things that I purchase a lot (Zone Bars, Vitamin Water, yogurt smoothies, cereal, paper towels, etc). In particular, the Market Pantry food brand has released alternatives for a number of items I am particularly addicted to, so naturally, I consider myself a perfect candidate to review these products. First up: Vitamin Water.]]> Price : Vitamin Water costs $1.39 and the Market Pantry Vitamin Enhanced Water Beverage costs $0.99, so Market Pantry is 29% cheaper. That doesn't seem like a lot, but with all the Vitamin Water I buy, that is a savings of $100 a year. Then again, Vitamin Water does go on sale every now and then for $1 a bottle at Target, Gelson's and Ralph's. Nutrition :Vitamin Water is my breakfast drink and so I do care a little about the nutrition here. I take a Centrum everyday though, so it's not going to be a huge deal.

I was actually surprised there was so much difference here. If they are going to copy Vitamin Water, you think they would care about the nutrition. Calories, fat, sugar, and carbs are the same, but Market Pantry does have a lot of sodium. I say a "lot" because it is more than Vitamin Water, but only about 2% of the recommended value for a bottle. The biggest nutritional difference is in the vitamins. Vitamin Water packs twice the B vitamins, although the Market Pantry showcases some other vitamin additives. Overall I'm guessing the differences between one or the other is not going to have any sort of impact on my over nutrition. Taste : This is always the biggest challenge with generic brands, and this is also no different. It's clear market pantry didn't try to emulate the taste of Vitamin Water for very long. I tried both the lemonade and citrus flavors of Market Pantry, and there is not that much difference between the two. It tastes like they both started life as lemon-lime Gatorade and mixed with that not-freshly-squeezed lemonade-ish drink some restaurants and gas stations serve. Intangibles : Vitamin water does have a nifty little story on the side of their bottles, but the novelty wears off after the first or second bottle. Overall : The winner in this battle is...Vitamin Water. The biggest thing here was the taste, which is of course a matter of preference, but I hate the aftertaste of that fake lemonade stuff. I would still try Market Pantry if they could pull off the Fruit Punch ("Revive" in Vitamin Water parlance), but Citrus ("Energy") and Lemonade are just not very good.

When the Hell Did Los Angeles Get This Huge Chair?

2008-04-18T05:04:35Z

I had to report to jury duty for the County of Los Angeles on Wednesday. I didn't get called into duty, so I had a chance to read a lot of The Intellectual Devotional, part of which was edited by a friend of mine. On my way back from the taco wagon for my lunch break, I looked across the street from the courthouse and saw this huge chair. When the hell did Los Angeles get this huge chair, and why was it never on the Amazing Race? I googled "Los Angeles Big Chair" and came up with this site. According to the website:

Artist Giancarlo Neri directed us to info on a chair created by the company Promosedia in Manzano, Italy -- 60 ft. tall. A slightly smaller version provided by Promosedia, touting the "Chair District" of Friuli, Italy, stands at the entrance of the LA Merchandise Mart, 1933 S. Broadway, Los Angeles, California. America has lost its giant chair edge!

The Big Borowski

2008-04-15T21:36:29Z

The Replacement Level Yankees Weblog is one of my favorite baseball blogs. SG has done an amazing amount of work on baseball projections and has come up with his CAIRO system (it helps to know about below average utility infielders to get the joke). The people who comment there love the Yankees, know their baseball, and are still looking to perfect the Gritty+ and eqHustle stats to satisfy the likes of Murray Chass. In a recent thread about the Yankees/Devil Rays game one of the commenters took some quotes from one of my all-time favorite movies, The Big Lebowski, and rewrote them to feature Indians closer Joe Borowski as the Dude. You have to love both baseball and the movie to get any humor at all, but it inspired me to whip up the movie poster above. Continue on for the full comments, and don't forget to visit RLYW if you like the Yankees.]]> About the poster: I know I should have spent a lot more time getting things right, but I do have to work at least part of the day. I would spend more time on the Dude's/Borowski's face, because you can't really tell it was him, and I would place a baseball glove in C.C.'s right hand. I would also spend more time on the titling fonts, etc. THE BIG BOROWSKI (memorable quotes) THE MANAGER (ERIC WEDGE): Way out midwest there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Fella by the name of Joe Borowski. At least that was the handle his loving teammates gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. This Borowski, he called himself The Closer. Now, "Closer", there's a name no one would self-apply where I come from. But then, there was a lot about the Closer that didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so durned interestin'. They call Cleveland the "Metropolis of the Western Reserve," but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there. 'Course, I can't say I seen Toronto, and I never been to Tampa. And I ain't never seen no Bud Selig in his damned undies, as a fella says. But I'll tell you what... after seein' Cleveland, and this here story I'm about to unfold, well, I guess I seen somethin' every bit as stupefyin' as you'd see in any of them other places. And on Gameday, too. So I can die with a smile on my face, without feelin' like the good lord gypped me. Now this here story I'm about to unfold took place back on Monday night - just about the time of our conflict with Theo Epstein and the Red Sox. I only mention it because sometimes there's a man... I won't say a hero, 'cause what's a hero? But sometimes, there's a man - and I'm talkin' about the Closer here - sometimes, there's a man, well, he's the man for his time and place. He fits right in there. And that's the Closer. In the 9th inning. And even if he can't pitch - and the Closer most certainly could not. Quite possibly the worst in the AL Central, which would place him high in the runnin' for worst pitcher worldwide - Sometimes there's a man... Sometimes, there's a man. Ah, I lost my train of thought here. But... aw, hell. I done introduced him enough. BOROWSKI ON BLOWING A SAVE: "Everything's a fucking travesty with you, man!" BOROWSKI ON THE OPPOSITION: Shit, I know that guy. He's a nihilist. Kevin Youkilis. BOROWSKI ON THE NOTION HE SHOULDN'T CLOSE: Yeah, well, you know that's just, like uh ...your opinion, man. BOROWSKI ON HIS BULLPEN MATES: Fuck sympathy. I don't need your fuckin sympathy. I need my fucking Jensen! BOROWSKI ON LAST NIGHT'S APPEARANCE: Hey! Careful, man, there's a leverage here! WHAT BOROWSKI SHARES WITH PAUL BYRD: Fortunately, I'm adhering to a very strict drug regimen to keep my mind limber. WALTER SABATHIA: Fuck it, Closer. Let's go bowling. WALTER SABATHIA ON C.M. WANG: What the fuck are you talking about? The Chinaman is not the issue here, Closer. I'm talking about throwing a changeup in the sand. Against this changeup, you DO NOT... Also, Closer, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please. DON'T INTERRUPT WALTER SABATHIA: Shut the fuck up Grady! Grady, you're out of your element! WALTER SABATHIA TO MARK SHAPIRO: Life does not start and stop at your convenience you miserable piece of shit. IF WALTER SABATHIA ON WHY JOBA SHOULD START: If you put me in the 8th, you are entering a world of pain. A world... of pain. WALTER SABATHIA ON WILD PITCHES: Do you see what happens, Victor, WHEN YOU LET A CHANGEUP FUCKING PAST? (proceeds to smash up what he believes is Victor's bat) THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, VICTOR! THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET A CHANGEUP FUCKING PAST! WALTER SABATHIA ON DUSTIN PEDROIA: Also Closer, let's not forget, let's not forget that keeping wildlife, um... an amphibious rodent, for... um, you know domestic... within the city... that ain't legal either. WALTER SABATHIA ON THE M.L.B. FOREIGN AMATEUR DRAFT LOOPHOLE: Eight year olds, dude. WALTER SABATHIA ON BOROWSKI'S COMMAND: That slider really tied the bullpen together, did it not? That's right, Closer, they teed off on your fucking slider. WALTER SABATHIA ON SEMANTICS: Of course they were Red Sox, Grady; they were threatening castration! Are we gonna split hairs here? Am I wrong? These are Red Sox, Grady. Don't worry they're cowards. WALTER SABATHIA ON BRUSHBACKS: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. WALTER SABATHIA ON SEPTEMBER CALLUPS: I'm stayin'!...(picking up mug) I'm finishing my coffee... (takes sip, sets mug down, gently slams fists on counter; grimly)...Enjoying my coffee.... WALTER SABATHIA ON THE RED SOX NATION: Say what you like about the tenets of New York Yankeedom, Closer, at least it's an ethos. WALTER SABATHIA ON THE DETROIT TIGERS: Those fuckin' amateurs! THE MANAGER ON ELLSBURY COMING IN TO PINCH RUN FOR ORTIZ: Darkness warshed over the Closer - darker'n a black steer's tookus on a moonless prairie night. There was no bottom. JESUS (MANNY): Are you ready to be fucked, man? JESUS (MANNY): Let me tell you something, pendejo. You pull some shit like that with us? You pull your fastball out in a 2-2 count. I'll take it away from you, shove it up your ass and pull the trigger 'til it go click. Nobody fucks with the Manny. BUNNY (PAPELBON): I'll dance a jig for $1000. BOROWSKI ON 2007 ALCS GAME 7: Nothing is FUCKED?! The god-damn plane has crashed INTO THE MOUNTAIN! BOB WATSON ON FRANCONA'S JACKET: I don't like your jerkoff name, I don't like your jerkoff face, I don't like your jerkoff behavior, and I don't like you. Jerkoff. YOUKILIS: We are Nihilists, Borowski. We believe in nothing. Yeah, nothing. THE MANAGER ON BOROWSKI'S RESILIENCE: 'The Closer abides'. Dunno about you, but I take comfort in those words. It's good knowin' he's out there. The Closer. Takin' 'er easy for all us sinners. Shoosh. I sure hope he makes the series. Say, friend - you got any more of them good sabremetrics? BOROWSKI: I threw the slider exactly as per... look, man, I've got certain pitches, all right? Certain things I can throw. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know? SHAPIRO: What in God's holy name are you blathering about? BOROWSKI: I'll tell you what I'm blathering about... I've got pitches man! That's the shit that I can throw! And shit... man, the ball hit itself out. Well sure, man. Look at it... a young Rawlings baseball, in the parlance of our times, you know, and it, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known bloggers, and that's cool... that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, it needs money, man. And of course they're going to say that they didn't watch it, because... they were watching the Yankees, man! They got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir? SHAPIRO: Are you employed, sir? BOROWSKI: Employed? SHAPIRO: You don't go out looking for a job dressed like that? On a weekday? BOROWSKI: Is this a... what day is this? SHAPIRO: Well, I do work sir, so if you don't mind... BOROWSKI: I do mind, the Dude minds. This will not stand, ya know, this aggression will not stand, man.

On Her Way To Rock and Roll Ralph's

2008-04-15T04:35:16Z

Yankees' Wang Too Much For Red Sox to Handle

2008-04-12T14:29:56Z

I am not sure how often I am going to blog about baseball, but after my boy Chien Ming Wang dismantled the Red Sox yesterday, I had to say something. Besides, whenever Wang pitches a good game, it makes for an irresistible headline (my second choice was "Boston Bats Choke as Wang Comes Up Huge" ). Luckily, Wang has been straight dealing for most of the season. His only really bad inning was the fifth, when he gave up a home run to J.D. Drew for his first hit, and even that ball was very catchable. The only other hit came with a bunt in the 9th inning. It took him only 93 pitches to get threw the whole game. Cy Wang here we come! Today's game comes against Josh Beckett while we are throwing Mike Mussina, he of the 85 MPH fastball, on the mound. Hopefully Moose has his good stuff and Beckett is still a little off coming back from his back/hip injury. Honestly, I'm more concerned about the Yankee bats, but I think they'll come around.